Letter from Concerned Friend

Dear Angela, My friend keeps making bad decisions. She needs wisdom and her marriage restored. Her husband wanted a divorce, but she didn’t, and she wants him back. I don’t think she is saved. There are no children. How can I help her?

Dear Concerned Friend, I think the key to your friend’s bad decisions may be that she lacks a clear knowledge of right and wrong since she doesn’t know Jesus as her Lord. The Bible gives us standards of behavior and character guidelines as a basis for making good decisions. You asked how you could help her. Perhaps you can share your faith with her in a casual way over coffee or lunch and offer to pray for her. You might want to buy two identical devotional books and give her one, then suggest you two get together for a devotional time, even over the phone. As the opportunity presents itself, invite her to accept Jesus as her Savior and help her to develop a personal relationship with Him. God loves her and his concerns are even greater than yours.
Your love and compassion for her is more effective than pointing out where she is wrong and offering “good” advice. Showing her the goodness of God may lead her to repentance. In the meantime pray earnestly for her salvation. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” (James 5:16 AMP) Regarding her marriage: if she will put it in God’s hands and then concentrate on her relationship with Him, He will change her. You can’t change another person, but you can change yourself.


Answers from Angela — Finding a Balance

Lean not on your own understanding but upon the truth in God's word.

Lean not on your own understanding but upon the truth in God’s word.


Dear Angela,

Today I almost walked away from my job which I dearly love. I am so frustrated with my boss. Fifteen minutes before quitting time he handed me an hour project, which he had forgotten about, and said he needed it for an eight o’clock meeting tomorrow morning.

Lately this last minute rush job request has become almost a weekly event.  Frustrated


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Dear Frustrated:

It sounds like you are being asked to go the second mile a bit too often. Jesus said if they compel you to go one mile, which the Roman soldiers could legally do, go with him two. Since you like your job, I presume you like your boss. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him.  Let him know you are on his side and want to help him succeed, but if possible, you would like more notice on projects he needs immediately. If you are not paid overtime, ask if you could have comp time. An hour or two before you leave ask him if there are any special projects he needs before you leave. There is another way: an attitude adjustment and I don’t mean happy hour. Jesus modeled a servant heart. With a servant heart you can do your work as unto the Lord. It will keep you from being angry or bitter about extra work. The Lord looks on the heart and He will reward you.


Dear Angela,

Why does life have to be so hectic? We have a big house and five kids ages two through sixteen. Soccer, Girl Scouts, piano lessons, remodeling the kitchen, P.T.A., Women’s Bible study, laundry, walk the dogs, weed the flower garden, etc.

Help, I am beside myself, and I simply want to curl up and do nothing! Overwhelmed

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Dear Overwhelmed:

I, too, faced this situation when my children were young. The Bible tells us to Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. (Mat 6:33) Seeking God early in the day for prayer, Bible reading, and thanksgiving will give you the inner peace needed to cope with the demands of your day. If getting up early isn’t possible, set aside some time during the day to get your daily bread. Jesus gives us His peace, which is not like the peace the world gives.

Enlist your children’s help by giving them chores. Allowances or special privileges can be contingent upon getting their chores done on time. Give positive reinforcement. Can your 16-year-old do some of the driving to and from lessons and Scout meetings? While you’re feeling overwhelmed, learn to say “no” to requests for your help at PTA, garage sales, etc. Make a “to do” list each day with only items for that day, and check them off as they’re done. Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. (Romans 8:6)

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